A Reconsideration of My Decision Yesterday

A reader was kind enough to leave a note and ask me to reconsider my decision not to include the poem I referred to yesterday.  Because I was waffling yesterday on the matter, and because I agree in large part with the reasoning supporting the conclusion, and because, frankly, the blog acts as a kind of system of record for me and so I would like to be able to find this once again--the plea was enough to make me reconsider.  If the author of the poem should google herself and find herself transported here and if she should prefer not to have the poem here, I will gladly remove this post.  For the time being however, let it stand in honest appreciation for work well done.

Requiem
Abigail Gramig

Today
is the
perfect day

The sky
just so
clouds moving
fast

Drops of water
on leaves
of Russian sage

Dog sitting
her chin
on crossed paws

Light streams
through branches
of locust tree

I sit
just so
at the
small table

Everything is
perfect
just like this
you would have said

Comments

  1. Several of the stanzas have much the feel of haiku. In fact, if one removes the commenting first and last stanzas, the remaining stanzas would constitute a "long" haiku, perhaps a tanka, although I'm not sure of the syllable count.

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  2. Dear Fred,

    Yes, they have the vaguely elegaic tone of the best haiku, and when capped by the ending, they come to a nearly perfect requiem--ringing, in the hollow emptiness that surrounds a loss. I like the tension and the capture of the Japanese feel to this verse and think the poet accomplished a tremendous amount with a little material.

    shalom,

    Steven

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steven,

    Which is what, if I understand the purpose of the haiku correctly, a good haiku is supposed to do.

    ReplyDelete

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